Shattered
by Draikinator
Summary: I yelled his name one last time, just to feel myself say it knowing what it meant- because I knew that because I was so slow, I could never say it again. //K2//
1. Who?

**Shattered**

I rubbed the burning out of my eyes just in time to see him see me. I could see the shock roll over his face, the sudden doubt. If I could just get to him a _little_ faster- grab him and tell him not to do it- maybe he wouldn't. But I wasn't a fast guy. I'd never been very athletic. I hated that _so_ much right now, because I was just _so close._

But not close enough. I yelled out his name, "_Kenny!_" but I already knew it was too late. He'd made up his mind. Kenny shook his head from the other side of the parking lot, turned away. I heard him say 'Just _do_ it already!' and Damien nodded, regretful. I yelled his name one last time, just to feel myself say it knowing what it meant- because I knew that because I was so damn slow, I could never say it again.

* * *

What was I doing here? I looked around. I was standing, confused and for the most part alone in a dimly lit parking lot. If I was right, I was on the outskirts of town. It was late at night. Maybe early in the morning, by now. I blinked. I was alone save for two other boys about my age. One wearing a black turtleneck and lack hair- maybe a goth kid? –and the blond and trussed up like a burn victim in an orange hoodie. I didn't know either of them and, being in such an unknown and thus dangerous place, I didn't feel the need to call out to them.

I turned, looked at the road behind me. My car was parked several rows away. Why was I standing here? I did nothing but stand and blink, confused and slightly scared at my lack of memory, until a little voice in the back of my head said that I had been out buying beer. Got lost. Needed directions. It was strange, I had just blanked like that. Also funny, I didn't but beer often. Or at all. I always made Stan do it, since he was tall and I, short. Plus, he was a better liar, so he didn't feel so freaked out carrying a fake ID. I just let him get the beer.. So the notion that I was at- I checked my phone as the other two boys drove away- three in the morning was absurd. But it _was_ three in the morning, and my mind was sluggish and tired. I shook my head and went back to my car.

The next morning, I woke up tired. Well, who isn't tired in the morning? But much more tired than normal. Due to my strange escapade into the night, I assume. I'd given up trying to reason with my brain and just let it go. It probably wasn't important anyway.

I let my feet hit the floor, and wandered over to my computer desk. My email was calling out to me; I had to check it. I slapped at the mouse to bring my computer back to live and out of hibernation. It greeted me with a familiar beep, and I sunk into my cushy roller chair. And frowned. I had left Itunes up yesterday; but now it was closed. A little weird, but nothing to be concerned over. It probably just closed unexpectedly. Something, perhaps misplaced curiosity, perhaps some sort of intuitive notion in the back of my mind, told me to open my history and check. I pulled up the recycling to get to the files- and froze.

It was filled to the brim. Images, piles and piles of images. I always emptied my trash when I deleted files- and had I deleted all of these pictures, I would have remembered for sure. I also should have remembered why I was in a parking lot in the middle of the night.

I opened one of the files. Corrupted. I closed it again and checked the file names instead. Several were noting but jumbles of letters, the kind you don't bother to change when you pull them off of your camera. Others read things like 'me and Kenny [State Fair 08]' or 'class photo 09]. There were a lot that had the name 'Kenny' in them. I thought about that- but I didn't know anyone named Kenny. I looked at one called 'group shot outside PiPi's 09' I remembered that. Stan, Cartman and I had gone to PiPi's water park a few months ago, back in summer. We'd had a great time, now that PiPi's was clean. I wouldn't go until I actually tested the Ph levels myself. Apparantly PiPi had fixed the place up since his big catastrophe. They practically dragged me there, I remember! I can't believe they wanted to go back after what happened… I remembered taking this picture. We were on our way out, soaking wet, big smiles plastered on our faces. I opened the file. Corrupted. But my computer skills were enough to run through the file, find out what was wrong, and fix it. Whoever had erased all these files- and it wasn't me- didn't know much about computers.

I blinked when I looked at it, because the picture was telling me a different story than how I remembered it. Because, in my memory, the three of us had grabbed each other's shoulder's for this picture and smiled as big as we possibly could. That had stayed the same except that, in the picture, there were four of us. There was Cartman, Stan, Me- and then, on the end, someone I did not know. I rubbed my eyes and look at it again. Refreshed the picture. It stayed the same.

I looked at him, trying to see if maybe I was forgetting him. He was my age, and blonde. He had messy hair, even when wet. He was a really pale, skinny kid with white skin like a goth kid, and his ribs just barely poked out, visible. Red cheeks and dark circles under his eyes, which were a vibrant blue- and sad. Something in them was hurting, so ad it was visible in a photo. For all that, he was pretty handsome. My heart hurt looking at him, for a reason I couldn't place. I touched the screen, then drew my hand back, confused. I checked a few more, and all had that same, pale, skinny blonde boy with the sad eyes. I printed out the first picture, folded it and stuffed it into my pocket.

"I'll just show Stan and Cartman- see I they remember who he is." I thought aloud, "Kenny… Huh. Something here is very weird." The name felt strangely familiar to me, though I certainly knew no one by the name of Kenny.

And then, through the course of my day, Kenny, and his picture, slid out of my mind, and I forget him.

Until Stan asked if I had a pen after school, and I fished through my pockets, searching. Instead, I found the picture. I offered it to him to see what he thought. He looked at it, and laughed.

"Dude, you're getting really good."

"At what?"  
"Photoshop, man."

I shook my head, "That's the original."

His smile faded, he frowned, then looked back at me, "What?"

"Something weird is going on, dude. Last night I found myself outside of town in a paring lot for no reason, and today, I find a bunch of deleted images on my computer that make no sense. All of this guy."

Stan just shook his head, "Yeah right."

"Dude, come on! I'm being serious here, it's freaking me out!" I cried, exasperated. He shrugged, nonchalant. I sighed.

"I think something is _wrong_." I said finally, struggling for words.

"Let's just ask Cartman. But I seriously don't know this guy." Stan insisted, offering me back the picture. I replaced it in my pocket.

"Yeah… I guess."

Cartman didn't know him, either. No one did.

* * *

That night, I had a weird dream. It was sort of like my past, but different. The guy from the picture that I didn't know- what was his name? Kenny, right –was in it, though.

I put my hand in his and smiled sheepishly. It was unlike me, but I felt sheepish. It was a generally weird question to ask. But Kenny just smiled, and gripped my hand a little tighter.

"Of course. My treat." I beemed, though I knew he didn't have the money for anything fancy. But that was okay- the fact that he would offer, that he would want to made me feel warm inside. I smiled back and felt myself curl inward against his chest. It was like all the crazy thoughts that had been whirling around my head, calling me a freak and a loser were finally silent, and I could finally just me- with him. I love Kenny McCormick, and I always will.

That was when Stan appeared around the corner, hefting his backpack on one shoulder and a smile on his face, he obviously had some hysterical story to tell me- but upon seeing his two best friends in such position, he stopped, and his hand lost his grip on his backpack strap. It hit the ground with a thunk, and he just stared. We were at school- very public, so it was bound to happen- but he'd only just agreed to out with me. It was a little sooner than expected.

We sat there for longer than could be considered normal, just staring, and then, he stuttered, unsure of himself, "Um- s-so, anything good on, er, the lunch menu, um, today?"

And just seeing him try to play off something that so obviously freaked him off for my sake made me feel even better, and I just started laughing. Kenny, blinked and stared at me, confused. He had that scared look in his eye, like he was afraid Stan was going to do something crazy and he was going to end up dead this early in the morning. I didn't want him to die, and I know he wasn't in the mood for it, either. And somehow, we were all laughing at something that should have been really serious- but that was alright. We'd always been really close, so what had I expected? To send him from the room screaming? No! Cartman was going to love this, but, like everything, he would get bored of constant teasing soon enough and only do it when the opportunity presented itself. Besides, Cartman had gotten better since they were kids. He still didn't care if everyone thought he was a dick, but now at least he had a little diplomacy around his friends. Kenny, mostly. Him and Kenny actually _were_ friends now, go figure.

And thank God for that. I smiled. Thank God for Kenny McCormick.

* * *

Draik: Hawhawhaw. So, Kyle, you don't remember Kenny!

Kyle: Neither does Stan! OR Cartman!

Stan: Nope.

Kenny: WHYYYYY!?!?

Draik: HUSH KINNEH.

Kenny: ;_____;

Draik: No one remembers Kenny. At all. But obviously, he was here. Hm.

Kyle: What the hell is up with the name, anyway? Shattered? WHAT is shattered, exactly?

Draik: Hearts, minds. Perceptions of reality. Imagine your reality, and your perception of it for a moment. Everything you see, everything you are. It I as fragile as glass, the tiniest thing in te world could upset it, and just like that, it's gone. And the reality the characters possess in this fic has suddenly, and without warning, shattered.

Kyle: …oh.

Stan: Huh.

Kenny: Is my reality okay, or did I forget me too?

Draik: Sheddup Kinneh. *smacks with pillow*


	2. Him

Shattered

I pulled my hat back over my head and fit it snugly over my frigid ears. Sniffling, I rubbed my red nose and let my head sink back into knees. I was sitting outside the one church in South Park- only because I knew my parents wouldn't look for me here. I was so sick of hearing it. _So _sick.

He sat down beside me, silent and somber.

I looked over after a few minutes of that unbearable silence- "Kenny, they hate me."

"They don't hate you."

"She said so."

"She hate's your _choice,_ not you. Your mom's crazy about you, you know that?"

"She hates me."

Kenny sighed, and put an arm around my shoulder. The snowscape in front of me swam suddenly, and I shoved my head into his side to hide the tears as the crawled out of my eyes.

"It's gonna be alright, I promise."

I sat up, somber as I had been in my dream. This was _definitely _messed up. I'd spent the past week trying to forget this- but yesterday, I'd found a damn video on Stan's phone by accident- it was something at school, taken at night. Some sort of prank we'd pulled? I didn't remember- but that damn kid in the orange hoodie had been in it. He'd had the phone shoved in his face, laughed, and shook a can of spray paint. 'I'm just working on my art project!'

I rolled out of bed and dug around for some shoes to go get the newspaper. For the hundredth time, I was up first.

Outside, leaning against my family's mailbox and thinking about this weird dream- I was disturbed.

That's it. I've got to forget him. It's going to drive me mad. He doesn't exist. He does _not_ exist.

My heart hurt suddenly, like I'd just stabbed myself.

HE DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST!

I screamed to myself, grabbed the paper, and rushed back inside.

I was sitting at the bus stop after school when it happened. When I realized… I can't forget this guy. I don't remember him, but if I let myself forget… I might as well forget my own name. I'm being selfish for trying.

I was taking a bus to the library, when I happened to look up across the street. Just look, not for anything. But a flash of orange crossed my eyes, and he was standing _right there._ Staring at me. I stared at him. He looked confused- I stood up and took an uncertain step towards the curb. I had to talk to him- ask him who he was and why did I know him?!

But he shook his head and looked down, so I paused. Then he turned and started to walk away. I couldn't let him get away though! I had to talk to this guy!

So I jolted forward, yelling out at him to stop. I forgot where I was, though, and stumbled directly into the path of the bus I had been waiting for. I stopped and stared at it; dumbfounded as it blared it's horns at me.

And something orange hit me like a ton of bricks. My head cracked against the sidewalk, and everything went dark.

"What did she say?" Kenny asked, concerned.

I shook my head. No way in hell was I going to tell him. There was nothing he could do, and if there was, I sure as hell didn't want him doing it.

"What did she _say_, Kyle?" He said again, more urgently. He had has hands on my arms, I kept on staring at the floor.

"She said if I don't… If I don't break up with you, she'll disown me, kick me out, and take away my college fund."

He was silent. So was I.

"She wasn't serious. I know it. Everything your mom does, she does to protect you. I've seen it. No way she'd do that."

"Everything she did, she did to protect her perfect Jewish son, so that he could life a perfect life and marry a perfect Jewish girl and have perfect Jewish babies. You are not a perfect Jewish girl, Kenny."

He didn't say anything, again. I looked up, but his eyes were very far away. He let me go, turned, and left.

My vision blurred back into reality, and I shook my head, looking up. I'd only been out for a couple of seconds. Long enough.

The bus was stopped, and people were crowding. I was just away from the burned out tires for the bus, and drew my legs away, nervous. But all around me was blood, and it wasn't mine. I thought I might be sick, and drew my legs back farther, only to discover it was one _me_, too. There was so much fucking blood, and it was everywhere- but the kid in orange, Kenny, dead or alive- was gone.

Draik: Chapter es un piquito. :0

Kyle: Dude. I'm not so stupid as to walk in front of a bus.

Draik: YOU WERE DISTRACTED! SHEDDUP.

Kenny: Awww. Pobre Kyle.

Draik: See! Kenny will play along.

Kenny: oui.

Stan: Wrong language, buddy.

Kenny: ….er….

Draik: We move along! Anyway, I was to wish you all happy holidays and a happy new year! I hope your next year is filled with luck, good south park episodes, and video games that rain from the sky unto the heads of the expectant children below!

Kyle: …what?

Draik: Play along with it!

Kyle: …And… um. DVDs, too…

Draik: Good Kyle. ^^ Go uke somewhere or something.

Kyle: HAY.

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!**


	3. Don't Forget Him

**Shattered**

_Chances thrown  
Nothing's free  
Longing for  
Used to be  
Still it's hard  
Hard to see  
Fragile lives  
shattered dreams_

_/The cruelest dream – reality_

_-_The Kid's Aren't Alright, the Offspring

---

"Kyle, this is really hard to say, but I'm just going to say it. I want to break up. It just isn't working out. I don't love you."

"Liar," Kyle shook his head, "I can see it in your eyes. You're too self sacrificial for your own damn good."

Kenny hung his head.

"I just… I just thought that if we broke up, your mom would give your college fund back…"

"I don't care about that!" Kyle yelled, and pulled Kenny into a hug, "I don't want college. I'll get a scholarship or a job or something. I just want you."

---

"What the hell?!" I stared at my clean hands in shock and surprise. Then at my feet, which were resting under crumbled covers. To my surprise, I was at home. In bed. I blinked, confused. Just a minute ago, I had been lying in the street, covered with blood. I turned my hands over, looked at them again. No blood. I looked up, at my room around me. It was like a cut in a home movie. Like I'd woken up from a dream.

That was it! A dream. A bad dream… I let out my breath. It had been so _real._ Too real. Time to forget it. And that damn kid in orange. I'd been obsessing over the weirdness-and it had wormed its way into my mind. That was it. I got out of bed, and wandered downstairs for breakfast. Considering that the previous day was actually a dream, that meant today was Saturday. I popped a piece of bread in the toaster and started to search my fridge for butter. To my dismay, I found that what had yesterday been the tiniest bit was now absent. As any relatively resourceful teenager would I peeked in the garbage can beside the fridge, just to check if the empty butter wrapper was there.

I saw it, but it wasn't the wrapper that caught my eye. It was the colour red in the corner, poking up from beneath a piece of cardboard. I looked up; I was alone in the room I poked the cardboard tentatively, then finally pulled it away.

Beneath it were two pairs of bloodstained clothes. One was his, one was orange.

---

I threw things to the side, digging through my old school supplies for a notebook. I found an empty one, and opened it to the first page. I ha to write down everything I remembered since this madness started happening. Things I didn't remember, too. Like 'Kenny', and the night in the parking lot, and memory lapses. I'm not stupid. Whatever the hell in the world was making forget him and the things around him wasn't going to let me remember this for long.

So what if I'd just seen him fucking die?!?! There was no body- I was still missing my memory, and losing parts! Someone got me home, someone threw away my bloody clothes _and his!_ I have a strong feeling that if he was dead no one would fucking be trying to cover up his life anymore!

As soon as I had it written, I wrenched the door of my closet open, and, placing one foot against the door frame and one on the bottom shelf, I pulled myself up to the top shelf, and dug around for the duct tape I knew was there. Three very long pieces, and I had the journal stuck above the doorframe, hidden.

And finally, a note written on the back of the picture of me, Stan, Cartman and Kenny at PiPi's water park. 'Don't forget him. Above the closet door.' I put it under my pillow.

---

"Yeah dude, it was weird. I totally just went to the library today-"

"On a Saturday?"

"-And I couldn't even remember waking up this morning. It's freaking weird. I've got nothing from before when I left the house!"  
"Goddamn dude, that's pretty weird."  
"Yeah, I know. It sorta feels like I'm supposed to remember something, or something. Like I'm forgetting something I'm s'posed to do."

"Go figure."

"It feels really important dude. It's throwing me off."

"Weird. Oh, hey, dude, can I copy your homework tomorrow morning before school? I forgot to do it."

"Eh? Today's Saturday though, you've still got tomorrow."

"What's up with you, Kyle? It's Sunday."

"What? No way, it can't- yeah. Sorry, I gotta go."

"Wait, can I copy your homework or wh-?"

Kyle hung up, then flopped onto his bed, confused and a little distressed. There was a crinkling noise behind his head. Kyle sat up and moved his pillow, only to find a weird picture underneath.

---

Draik: Kyle! You're a jerk! Stop fergettin' yer boyfwiend.

Kyle: IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU BITCH

Kenny: Can I _stop_ getting killed or something?

Draik: No. :D

Stan: Whoa. I'm not an asshole. I just sort of _there._

Draik: Weird, I know! XD

Cleoleo: I'M SORRY DX I HAVE SCHOOLLLLLLLLLLLLPFFTLPBLT

Silly Moo Cow: Yup. ^^ Alllll questions will be answered. Time will tell all!

StupidityIsStupid: They aren't together again in the _second chapter_! You should know me better than that! I like to draaaaag out the pain.

And I stepped in front of a truck once. D: It was scary.

Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer: He indeed does not know. D: As you can see, it's driving him nuts.

YAY! You'll play along with me. ^^

xichxliebexdichx: YOU HAS MOAR


End file.
